Is that all there is?

My hand held mixer, which was over 25 years old, has broken.
My mini-chopper isn't large enough for processing reasonable amounts of vegetables.
So I'm looking for a multi-function food processor.
This is what I get from the reviews on Amazon.

Cuisinart.  Customer service stinks.  Product quality has gone downhill. 

Hamilton Beach.  Buy hearing protectors.

KitchenAid.  Not powerful enough.

Ninja.  Breaks in 4 months of only making smoothies.

Omega.  Under-powered but expensive.

All others only available from overseas to in-country customers.

If you have something else to recommend, let me know.

I'd like something like 9-11 cups with a chute at least the width of the average salad cucumber and NOT CURVED.
It should have 400 watts of power or more without sounding like a plane taking off.
It should have multiple speeds.
It should be able to chop, slice, whip, and also mix cake batter.
It should not reduce things to pulp until I tell it to.
It should close tightly enough so that liquid doesn't spurt out from under the lid.
It should be easy to clean; most of the ones above are poorly made with crevices and flanges that food gets under and you can't reach it.

Shame on the companies above, who have been in the kitchen appliance business for decades and don't know how to make a good product.
Shame on the newbies who haven't learned from the mistakes of their elders.
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